Sunday, December 13, 2015

An Old New Path Begins: Part 1 - Breadcrumbs

Warning: This and the following two posts are "brew-a-cup-of-tea-and-settle-in" posts, long-winded and wandering. They are, in large part, me talking myself through things. If that sort of thing interests you and you have the time, by all means, read on...

Dear readers: This week here at Lost Coast Post, I'll be posting about my artistic direction for 2016 (teasing you about where I'm headed) and then - from Dec 18 through Jan 4 - I'll be taking my annual posting hiatus. I'll be behind the scenes planning posts and photographing work but there won't be any new blog entries until after the first of the year...just a heads-up so you don't think this space has been abandoned.

Last week, I had an epiphany. Now "epiphany" implies that I had a sudden burst of inspiration and revelation, new insight that surprised me with its appearance in my brain. However, when I started digging into this epiphany, trying to discern its origin, I discovered that this is an epiphany that I've had before...many times (so many it is kind of embarrassing.) What's new this time around is an intense, gut-level feeling that I'm on the right track, faith that what will unfold is uniquely me and meant to be.

In researching the roots of this "new path," I found that it actually has revealed itself to me often over the last few years and that I laid down markers to its presence all throughout this blog and my work, like Hansel & Gretel's breadcrumbs that show the way home. Unfortunately, my breadcrumbs disappeared in true fairy tale form. No villainous birds were responsible; I simply failed to follow those clues and that neglect rendered the path invisible.

Here's a few of those "breadcrumbs" I found littering Lost Coast Post:
From August 6, 2010:
I desire two things: a feeling of childlike joy bubbling over in everything I create and an authentic, personal relationship with my creations.  Looking back through a ten-year portfolio and reaching back even farther into the mists of my childhood, I had an epiphany of sorts, a realization that is shaping up to be a huge whirlwind of new energy and exploration.

From August 17, 2010:
[O]ddball beings are clamoring to be heard; they want to materialize from the mists of my imagination into a world that may or may not look kindly upon their appearance.  But things are getting sort of loud in my head.  It is time to listen, no matter how scared I might be.

From July 19, 2012:
All the beings I had tucked away...were shouting in one, collective voice:  "Set us free!"  ...I began to reacquaint myself with the world I had abandoned and in the process, I realized it was really about setting myself free.

From April 7, 2014:
I have no real need anymore for what going on in the mainstream.  I care about what's happening in my mindstream.  I care about letting characters loose upon the world while I am able...I'll forge a brand new, exciting road.
Do you get the idea? I could go on as there are many more tiny tidbits like these scattered throughout 9+ years of posts. The phrase "new path" or some variation on those words is particularly abundant. The difference now? Well, last week, I stumbled back upon this previously-paved path quite by accident, propelled by a stunningly revealing session in the studio. At the end of this particular session, I had the distinct impression that I had torn through the veil. Mental blocks, that had rendered my breadcrumbs invisible or impotent, simply dissolved and the way forward lit up like a string of Christmas lights.

That isn't to say that I'm not still in the dark. Just because there's a light on the path doesn't mean it isn't pitch black all around. Now, however, I am willing - gleefully, greedily - to proceed into the night, one little gleaming will-o-wisp of inspiration at a time.

Next installment: Provisions for the Journey

4 comments:

Emie58 said...

I guess this may be a time to follow your heart???

Özge Başağaç said...

Wow this sounds exciting!

Loulou in Texas said...

I brewed my tea tonight (decaf, so I can still sleep), chose one of my favorite cups, and settled in to read your post. It made me smile to read that you experienced an "intense, gut-level feeling" that you are on the right track. What a great feeling it must be for you to know that what will unfold is uniquely you and meant to be!

I'm not so sure that you failed to follow the clues, but rather you were still building a strong foundation, waiting for just the right time for that pathway to be revealed. Now you are ready and willing to proceed.

Good for you! I look forward to reading your next installments!

Aimeslee said...

Well, the holiday season being what it is (a mad-dash for the finish line! lol), I'm late to reading this. But it was a pleasant surprise to read you are staking an official claim to your own diamond mine. Bravo! Once I came down with my 5 arthritii, I had to make peace with not being able to be a competitive artist. And now I consider that a blessing, for I am truly freed up to do whatever the heck I want in my art. I hope you are feeling that...it's more like a gigantic weight is lifted off your shoulders, the weight of "expectations". I look forward to reading the rest of this journey and traveling with you. xoxo

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