Monday, February 25, 2008

returning to art bit by tiny bit

Journal page for February 22, 2008: post-surgerical days are progressing very slowly...battling some anxiety, depression...lots of pain and medication side effects...but i am pushing my hand hard to recover fine motor skills. any range of motion and strength lost in these early days will be almost impossible to regain fully once out of the cast. 3 days after surgery, i pulled back the gauze from between my thumb & index finger so i could work on my pinch. today is the two-week mark and i can gingerly use scissors and write with semi-legible results. i can color, doodle, glue and paint with both hands. i try to use my left hand whenever possible (i'll post in the future about the tricks of one-handed journaling). it is all very painful and by the end of the day, i regret moving at all but i find it is important to soothe my soul with a bit of art takes all day to complete one between naps and crying jags...but i do feel a small sense of triumph when i can look at a completed page before bedtime. my journal has become a cherished place to air my wild worries, simmering sadness, and most importantly, whisper-soft, positive self-talk that needs a forum to become strong and loud and fierce so it can sustain me in the months to come.
P.S. Thank you so very much for any and all well wishes and comments...i can't respond to comments right now...mostly because Blogger doesn't have an email track-back feature (i have to dig around to find someone's email if not specfically written into a comment) but also because i'm conserving my typing energies for posting. so please don't take offense if i don't comment on a comment. thanks for reading and sticking with the lost coast post through its fits of starts & stops...


Mija said...

Michelle, your journal pages and blog posts are Incredibly beautious and touching. i truly sense your struggle but it feels like triumph in the end. i'm glad you have a place to express your various emotions and share your experience, from your trials to your victories. may your recovery be blessed with both.


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